Is there ever a good time for leaving ?

I don’t suppose there ever is a good time for leaving a relationship or marriage as it’s always going to be hard on someone.  In fact its hard on the person being left behind and the person who is leaving.   Both have to listen to everyone on the outside discussing the situation and speculating as to why it happened.  Every speculator is  adamant that they know the reason without even asking the couple who have split up.  If it’s the woman leaving its because she’s gotten tired of being abused or if its the man leaving its because he has apiece of skirt outside the house.  But people the shoe can be on the other foot and the reasons can be reversed.  Women are capable of abusing men and women are capable of having a trouser outside the house.

IMG00159-20111105-1430Also never assume because the big house in the big garden with two cars parked in the drive way is a dream come true because its what you covet.  A castle doesn’t always bring true happiness as its only bricks and mortar.   True happiness comes from within the people in the house.  To be happy in a marriage/relationship you first have to be happy with yourself.    Be happy with yourself first and then you will  be happy with others.  A house full of people can be the loneliest place to be if your unhappy.

People go in to relationships and marriages so full of dreams, hopes and aspirations  for them to be dashed on the rocks of reality.  Reality is when the glow rubs off the diamond and the flaws can be seen.  Most people work through the flaws together and keep working together united in a common goal.  Others struggle on for years pushing away the inevitable split because its easier rub reality away and muddle through rather than announce to family and friends they are splitting.

Breaking up can happen 2 years or 20 years after getting together for various reasons.  People marry for all sorts of reasons, just as they go in to relationships for all sorts of reasons.  The foundation of both needs to be so strong to stand the test of time and what life throws at them.  Children, work and other obligations can make or break a relationship/marriage.  The couple need to be singing from the same sheet regarding everything in the marriage/relationship. If they aren’t then that’s where compromise not dictatorship comes to the forefront.

Everything in life evolves and if a couple doesn’t  evolve together then the break happens gradually.  Little by little they find that what they had in common is not there any more and the cement that held them together is cracked and beyond repair.  One person can be fit and young at heart while the other has turned old over night and has one foot in the grave

If there are children involved its hard for them to understand especially if they were looking at their parents relationship through rose tinted glasses.  It’s hard on the person who is being left behind if they had their head in the sand like an ostrich and didn’t see the other person drift away .  A break up is hard for the person who wants it because they will be deemed the big bad wolf for splitting up a family /relationship.   Time spent together is never wasted as we all learn life lessons which make us strong for the next page of life

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