- Stepping out from life in Direct Provision is a great achievement if the Irish Government has approved your stay here in Ireland,
Stepping out from life in Direct provision without approved stay in Ireland is a step not to be taken lightly, it needs to be weighted from all sides before taking. Basically it means that you are in limbo without government support. The loss of accommodation, meals and medical card are the only things guaranteed. This step needs to be planned very well. Support and help from trust worthy people is needed.
Finding a place to live is easy if you have a friend who doesn’t mind you sleeping in their home rent free until you get the next step sorted. The next step being employment. Now employment is a tricky one as most employers will request to see evidence of your right to work in the country. You possibly have a degree but could end up washing floors or doing other thankless jobs I have a friend who was a cleaner in a store and he was better educated than the managers running the departments. Sadly meekness and humility were not his strong point and eventually he rubbed everyone up the wrong way and was framed for theft. He was sacked. A zipped mouth will keep everyone safe. Talk out frustrations among trusted friends only. Using someones else’s PPS number is an option if your friend allows you to do this. That way you could possibly get a better job. One of the many jobs open to people with out the stamp 4 is delivering advertisement mail for companies. The wage is not much for the long hours of walking but its an honest days work. I’ve done this job and believe me its far from glamorous, a thick skin is also need for the abuse given by the public. But hey its a free gym work out.
Saving money is not easy under any circumstance but saving a deposit for even a room from a wage below the minimum wage is hard, So I say ” Hats of to those who have saved a deposit for a room “. Also land lords want references from previous landlords and work . A landlord can’t be told “I’ve lived in Direct Provision for 10yrs and have stepped out without the right to stay” This Is where good trust worthy friends come in to their own. They pretend to be your previous landlord. Bingo! You now have a room to call your own, Congratulations .
With a room comes all those extra bills, So Sorry to frighted you with the ESB, Heating and food bill, Also add on to that your bus fare to work and a few medical bills for the year
YES! Living is expensive but keep going and the path will get easier, Yes your living a life on the edge but your out of that prison called Direct Provision. Now you have dignity and provided for yourself . Integration in to society is easier now as you have a place to repay friends invites when they invite you to their home. Isn’t it good eating your own cooking at what ever time you decide to cook and eat.
Relationships can start to be come the norm but once again you need a trustworthy partner, A partner of a person who steps out of direct provision needs an inner strength to carry them through the relationship. Yes Love is great but it doesn’t guarantee that your partner will be strong enough to sustain a relationship with a person living on the edge.
Never give up trying to find that partner who is God given for you. There is someone somewhere for all of us. Be truthful about your situation from the start. Nothing is as destructive in life as a relationship built on lies. Spare everyone hurt and speak the truth. Explain every tiny detail no matter how insignificant they appear to you. Whats insignificant to you can be very important to everyone else.
So the relationship has blossomed so well and you are moving in together. Here reality hits your partner as its them who is renting the apartment as your name can go on nothing. Living on the edge means being untraceable. This is hard on you also. A person contributing but seeing their name no where. Sit down together and decide what bills both of you are paying for. More than likely your partner will pay the rent and the small bills will be paid for with your assistance.
Communication and planning together are vital. Without these nothing works out right. Also trust is a very important key to a happy long relationship leading to marriage. Marriage…………….the step to getting the right to staying in the country. Don’t marry a person unless you truly want to stay with them for ever and have a family with them. To use a person to get a right to stay in the country is so destructive and selfish. If you marry for the wrong reason remember you have tied up a person’s life for 5 years here in Ireland, Also it leads them to so much sadness and heartache. Yes ! if you want marriage as your next step go for it and Congratulations. But go in to the marriage with an openness and transparency, NOT with a hidden destructive agenda .
Immigration are tough in this country. They check and recheck that couples are living as man and wife before granting the right to live and work in Ireland. I wish you all the best in your long and happy blessed marriage.
By writing this I am not encouraging everyone to leave Direct Provision. I am just painting the picture on the other side of the prison door.
Being in a relationship with a person living on the edge is not romantic or exciting. Yes ! It has the same romance as every relationship but its not fun when your down to your last few cents and there is no heat or food in the home. Be 100% sure before stepping in to every relationship but this type of relationship will really test your strength . Don’t half commit and then back out as your playing with a persons life. Yes! the person who works that degrading job is human and they love you enough to trust you with their story . So once in the relationship stay there. The stark reality of life hits home when as a couple you just have each other to depend on as you can’t go to charities as you can’t talk about the situation. So picture this its freezing outside and you have a fire place but no fuel, you have electric heaters but the fear of the bill going out of control stops them being used. Also the fridge is just about empty and it’s only Wednesday.
Stay strong and with God’s power and in God’s time it will all be great. Enjoy the good times, let them out weigh the bad times