Abuse

Abuse comes in many forms and at many stages in life.  It’s not just kept for one culture or gender either.

Abuse can come from those close to us or from a total stranger on the road.   The abuse from a loved one is the hardest to deal with as these are the people who we trust with our inner most thoughts and dreams.  To have these dreams thrown at us during verbal abuse is shattering.

Abuse can start in childhood when a parent uses words to erode away a child’s confidence.  The parent can make negative comments  to others about the child in the child’s hearing range or else make negative comments to the child; ” your stupid. you’ll never excel like your siblings”  .  This abuse can effect a persons confidence and how they see themselves as they grow in to adulthood.   Entering adulthood coming from an abusive childhood can be daunting and the adult can think that verbal abuse is the norm.

They can think that they deserve nothing better untill someone actually helps them to build their self-esteem. A person who is going through or has gone through abuse finds it hard to break the chain of verbal or physical abuse.  Verbal abuse can be as cutting as a knife.  It can be a short cutting statement .

Physical abuse comes during or after verbal abuse as the abuser gets braver and doesn’t care how much they hurt another person.  It’s hard for the cycle to be broken as the abused needs to gain the courage to shout ” STOP”.

Abuse leads to isolation and the abuser monitors and follows the victim.   The abuser actually times the abused trips from home to the places they are going.  This is so controlling.  Money is used to try to control the abused.

Friends of the abused are not encouraged to visit so for the abused its easier to just  let go of friends and the abuser has won.

It’s so hard to explain why an abused person stays there for so long.  It takes strength and courage to walk away.  That same strength and courage has been eroded away for ages.   An  abused person can be working in a superior position at work but at home they are abused.  The abuser manipulates  them through words.

Physical abuse starts and the abuser hits where the bruises can not be seen by others.  But out of shame the abused dresses to hid the bruises.  The shame of being abused is so great that the abused  keeps it all to themselves.

Over time both the physical and verbal abuse can get out of hand  and the abused makes a cry for help by taking an over dose or going missing.  Sometimes these cries for help are answered or just not picked up on.

The abused has to dig deep inside and get the courage to contact a group who can help such as Womens Aid.

The police and the courts can assist the abused to get freedom from the abuser by assisting in the legal process of gaining a barring order.   Always have a witness with you when your telling the abuser that you’ve gotten a barring order or safety order.  Also understand the difference between both of the orders . One allows the abuser to still live in the home but they can not verbally or physically abuse the other person. While the other order bars the abuser from the home and from being near the abused.

I advise anyone who is being abused that your abuser will not stop, no matter how much they promise.

Please remove yourself from this abusive situation as you are better than this and deserve so much more.

Parents we have children to love cherish and prepare for the world, please don’t abuse them with cutting comments just because you can.  Build their confidence up and say what you really mean to say.  Examine your words before they leave your mouth and damage a child

You the person reading this are awesome, so love and look after yourself

A rose looks beautiful but its thorns cause hurt.  Be that rose not the thorns

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