Empty nest Syndrome

Empty nest syndrome can happen in stages or with a quick sweep depending on the age of our children and the stage of life they are at.
The phase stage is when they start spending times having sleep overs at friends or going to spend holidays in the homes of our extended family. Little by little the time away from home gets bigger. A one night sleep over give’s them the courage and confidence to stay away for 2 nights. A week away from home gives them the confidence to spread their wings for longer and we as parents have to adjust to not having children around all summer.

Do not feel rejected if your children ask to extend their family holidays away from you. Instead praise yourself for raising such a happy confident child. Your child/children are so sure of themselves and confident, that they know home is a place they can return to at anytime. There is no place like home and no one like parents, no matter how welcoming other houses are or no matter how caring other people are.

School time is a strange time of firsts for everyone. It might be the first time parents have no children at home for a few hours during the winter months. Instead of feeling empty and sorry for ourselves, enjoy this free time. Do as a couple i met yesterday were doing:: having a special breakfast together and making plans for all the coming free mornings.

Yes the house is strange without the little footsteps and voices but soon that void is filled with your music and now you can read that book or do what ever else takes your fancy.
As children grow up holidays get extended and they fly further away. I remember when my daughter Bernice flew to China with a school friend it was as if she would never return. But return she did and ventured to Poland and Japan. To deal with the loneliness of her first departure her Daddy and I treated ourselves to a night away in the Wicklow Mountains. Now looking back the memories are good. So create good memories to cover over the feelings of empty nest syndrome.

Empty nest syndrome is made harder if all you have in common with your beloved are your children. Remember before your children you were a couple who had dreams and expectations of life. Did you throw all these out with the baby bath water ?
Do not let the years pass by with just discussing bills, childcare and the home. Remember  to discuss with each other how you are feeling and what is happening with you as a person/couple.
Do not get lost in being a parent/hubby/wife. Reclaim your self before its to late.
keep your dreams alive and with the help and support from each other build them. Decide together how best to achieve every dream.
Before the children came along there were 2. Now again there is 2 and the nest is empty. Don’t look at each other as strangers in the street, embrace each other as the couple you are. Staying strong in your relationship requires work and communication on a deep level. Put in what you want to get out.

College is one step of empty nest syndrome. The house is empty when we come home from dropping our last child there. Yes I say child because no matter how old my children get they will always be children to me . Once they are finished in college and have come home for weekends so many teenagers never come home again for long periods as they have gotten a job in another area or country.
Immigration is very hard because now as parents we are dealing with the loss of our children in the home and the fear of the unknown. But as we have raised wonderful strong children who are capable of dealing with situations as life throws them up we can sleep easy at night.
Empty Nest Syndrome is only for a while as children are like boomerangs and return home for comforts .
They return with partners and children filling the house with laughter and filling the machine with washing. Emptying the fridge and presses of food as they enjoy the much missed home baking .

Keep an open door policy always. We never know when our children may need to stay at home for a while and never pressure them for information about why they are back home. If they want to talk our children will talk. Just keep the nest well feathered and your arms wide opened .

Home is where we can always return to no matter what is happening in our lives
Home is where we can always return to no matter what is happening in our lives

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